Liek, · wh04, · m4n.

I was totally going to post about moving drama and grad school applications and bills piling up and stress... but then I found cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ and thus my brain was eaten.

I literally had to clamp a hand over my mouth at some of the lady's assessments of the cakes. They are truly wrecks and omg, it's hilarious.

Also, for you certain Twilight fans that I know out there in LJland, she has a special section (called Sunday Sweets, where we get a break from wrecks and see the coolness of cakes) for Twilight, found here.

Enjoy!

Katie: So freaking happy for you in New York, aside from the Queens bus system. Good luck!
Laura: I completely a hundred-thousand percent understand everything you have to say about teaching and the school district. But what you said is true: you are a good (amazing!) teacher, and you have what it takes to stick it out and even make the best of it. Also, I forgot to mention but you have lost weight and I am so, so proud of you. Keep it up! You're doing awesome in all that you are doing and I love you!
Kimmy: HI THERE!
Heather: Email me if you've figured it out yet. But still, hi there!

No, it isn't a new code name. It isn't the name of my new puppy, 'cause I ain't got one. It isn't the name of anything good. CLARE. It should ring as a clarion cry of pain. Check it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contact_lens_acute_red_eye

Yep. Contact Lens Acute Red Eye. Or just simply "ow, ow, ow" for short. I've been having pain with my eye for weeks now and only just yesterday saw a doctor for it. He found out what it was, put pain-killer drops in my eyes, got me anti-keratitis drops, and told me to throw out my contacts. The anti-keratitis drops, by the by, are prescribed in the following course: 1-2 drops every 30 minutes, while awake. omFg. They sting like motherfuckers. At this point,  Colin has to put them in for me because I have a hard time holding my eyeball open to purposefully inject pure liquid pain in. Ah well. We will be hoping for the best and such, and getting my eyes put back together.

Also, I almost went to the trouble of taking my LJ icon into Paint and adding huge, angry red welts to the whites.. but  it's time for my drops. :(

Okay people! I am sure all of you know this by now, but I'm going to call it official. By December 21st of this year, I will have moved back to South Carolina. As of today, September 9th, I will be bringing my boyfriend Colin back with me too. I am pleased about all this. I miss my family very much, and want to be around them again.

The tentative plan, however, is to either a) find a good job somewhere nearby or, b) find a no-commitment job somewhere nearby while going back for my Master's. By "somewhere nearby" I mean "somewhere much closer than Hawaii, probably east of the Mississippi, north of Florida and south of Maine."  So, here's hoping!

Other news: Colin's parents were kind and generous enough to extend an invite for me to join their family in a night of Thai food and Mikhail Baryshnikov. I was happy to accept. That's right, I got to see Baryshnikov himself, live, doing "Three Solos and a Duet" with Ana Laguna. Omg. It was enough to make me literally cry a bit. The performances were so very, very powerful.

So, yah. There it stands, here I am. Love to you all!

I realized that I hadn't posted in about.. 2 months, so perhaps it is time? Laura came to visit and it was very awesome. No offense meant here, but it was really comforting and deeply relieving to have her here and let her see how I lived and have her accept me still. For some reason, I was fearful of her non-approval...of all people, she's the most I fear from. It's my love for her, and my respect of her opinion, I suppose. But I love you, Joe, so very sincerely.

I have found a new friend, named Colin.... I like him a lot. ... Weird. I was just typing this and he called me to ask if he could come over. Cool.

I have been good, as I mostly am. Things have happened that are monumental, but I am still alive, I am still well, and I am still (mostly) sane. : )  I think that in the last month I have undergone more changes than I have previously wanted to admit, but I think it has to do with the death of an old era (unfortunately I will have to name it Alex, although I by no means love him less) and the birth of a new, this one named after myself. I also think that this new era of my life is important and crucial, and I intend to seize it fully and live my life from here forward.

I do miss the East Coast and although I have been noncommunicative and distant, I feel in many ways that my home there is still a home for me. I still can't call it "Mom's house" or "my parents' house"....it's just... "home." I like it that way.

Love for you all, even if I don't talk with you anymore. I never lost love for you, nor opinion of you, just simply lost touch... and that's my fault and burden to hold. Still... I hope everyone is doing well, and know that I support you still, in my own way.

So, among lots and lots of other things, including the car breaking down on the highway in the rain and me just having a lot of fun chilling, I have been just fine. :)

But... someone told me earlier this week that I needed to sign up for Twitter. Now, this person is attached to their phone and texts all the damn time. So much so, actually, that it's annoying and I never really get face time with them. I get time with them and their phone, y'know? But, I went and looked up Twitter online. I read the What, the Why and the How, and I watched the video. 140 characters per post, keeping up with all the "little things in between blog posts." This is supposed to help me "stay better connected" and "know my friends and family better."

.... fuck. that. No, I don't care if Mom's eating soup or Wayne's taking a nap or Joe, if you had a sandwich or salad for dinner. I don't care, really I don't. I don't care if Mom's at exercise at a particular time, or if Amie is watching South Park. Why should I care? I do care that Mom and Joe are getting good, healthy foods, that Mom is losing weight for her own health and happiness, that Wayne's getting enough sleep and Amie's happy. I can get these things from phone conversations, or, even better, from actually visiting them whenever I can and getting a personal look at how they feel overall, as people. When I die, I don't ever want there to be a record of what I had for dinner that night or what I wore to work on that day. I want... life to happen. I don't life to get documented and run through script and spat out, bland and black on white and 140 fucking characters on the next side.

Ever.

It's been forevah! So, really really quick catch-up:
-- Alex's cousin Victoria was here for two weeks and she rocks out loud. I like her bunches, and we had loads of adventures.
-- Alex's birthday was yesterday, and he and I celebrated first off by getting up at 4 am and driving to Kona to sit in traffic court from 7:45-12:00. Then we went and had lunch at the southernmost bar in the United States, which was cool. Then we drove home, where Rose had set up a birthday party for Alex that included this amazing 9-step scavenger hunt (in the theme of Alice in Wonderland) for his present, which turned out to be a stuffed monster she had sewn herself. In all honesty, I was a twinge jealous of how thoughtful and personalized her gift was, 'cause in all honesty the only thing I could think of to get him was to buy him a staff he's been wanting and he was there with me when I picked it up. And then I felt guilty for feeling jealous. Her gift made him cry, and I dunno. I have been feeling pretty worthless in his life lately, and he refuses to tell me how I help him 'cause he wants me figure it out on my own 'cause it'll help me get better as a person. Aww, boo. Still, I'm glad he had a really good birthday (even though I fucked up and pissed him off in the grocery store parking lot 'cause I'm messed up in the head sometimes with my temper).
-- Speaking of birthday, I made Mom's Death by Chocolate cake and it put everyone in a sugar coma. Then we got up this morning and had bacon and chocolate cake for breakfast. I'm considering napping again, though I've only been awake about... 2 hours now. Grah.

Overall, things are fine. I went through some pretty harsh shit for a few weeks, but I'm healthy now and working on making sure my mental stability is present. I'll tell you guys all about it later, in person, 'cause I don't wanna talk about it in LJ. Y'know how that is.

But I'm good! And I love you all! And I won't give it all away, but there's a possibility (depending on job stuff, etc.) that I may make it to the East Coast again before the year is out. We'll see. :)

So, we went and watched the Watchmen Friday night. There was a group of 12, and 3 of us had our Nintendo DSes along for the ride. This, as it turns out, is a bad idea with three adults in a theatre with 20 minutes to spare. We got in Pictochat and the poor Nintendos became conduits for stick-figure drawings with humongously deformed sex organs and compromising positions. It wasn't until we got to the opening credits and put the Nintendos away that my friend Kasi leaned over and whispered, "Who was that fourth person in the Pictochat with us?" We had a freak out. It was hilarious and we were nearly rolling in the aisles.

Then, we watched the Watchmen, which... kinda sucked. I liked Rorschach's bit, 'cause he kicked ass for real, but for the most part I spent the rest of the film going, "Omg blue penis!" Also, the only gay people in the film were either a) murdered for being gay or b) the freakin' villain who kills millions. This did not sit well with me. But... I did like Dr. Manhattan... and his penis.

Penis.

Ahaha.

I've decided it's time for a bit of a picture post, people. I know, I know... don't get yer panties in a knot. I am alive and doing very well. I have recently undergone some very needed and voluntary changes, the process of which I won't bore you with but the result of which is this: I am beautiful, I am sexy, and I am just damn worth it. And all of that without false, overblown arrogance to crutch up a rickety structure. I mean it, sincerely and with full humility. I'm pleased with myself for the first time in years, and I like it that way.

And now, without further ado, ( herein lies the birth of gods. )

.... I had to go to the hospital and get IVs and everything. I was out of school for a week and a half and have only just now begun to recover enough to explain everything to you guys. 

Just kidding, but at least that would have been a good excuse. In reality, it's only been that our new roomate Tim got here and we've been taking him all over the island every weekend. Also, since the XBox is here, I reallyhave small amounts of time for the computer. By the by, when I say XBox, please don't interpret that as my always being able to play. In truth, I spend lots of time editing Alex's books (I'm almost finished with the 2nd go-round on the 4th book), and in between those times, playing door person at a rave, watching copious amounts of Avatar with Rose, going to ecstatic dance and, (like today) hanging out gettin' high on a nude beach... you can see my dilemma. I just have no time anymore. 

Yes, I did call Wayne on his birthday. Yes, I have been calling Joe to keep up with her, and I'm glad you're doing a little better, my love. Haven't called anyone else in a long time, though, so I will try and fix that soon. 

Love you guys! 

It has been an interesting few days, let me tell you. I have been on a plane for a very long time, and back in Hawai'i for what feels a short time and I am already just freakin' happy to be home. I loved, loved, loved going back to see my family and friends, and I had some great adventures, but there's something comforting about coming home and seeing my family here.  Alex picked me up at the airport all beautiful in fishnets and despite my jetlag, the night was a welcome homecoming. Yesterday I dozed a lot and wound up going to Hilo with Rose and Rod to get a new cable for my projector ( which is great, Dad, and I love the picture). Today,  I plan to finish unpacking and go to Hilo again to get another adapter cable I apparently need for my external harddrive. C'est la vie.

I love you guys and hope you are all well.

So. Much. to. Update.

I has not the room nor, I fear, the finger strength to type it all out. I shall sum it up thusly: plane trip = boring, seeing family = awesome, driving to CT = awesome w/ Joe, suck for my hips, knees and ass, seeing family and SNOW = win!, hanging at the house and playing xbox = awesome, Team Awesome (expensive) dinner = cool and awesome.

So, I have been rolling around in my DVD collection since I've been back, and have been quitting off playing games (!!!  I know, I know) early to watch movies that I have missed for 6 months or longer. I have since picked up A&E's presentation of Pride and Prejudice and holy hell... it is truly the mark of an excellent program/actress that I cringe at the very sight/sound of a character. Mrs. Bennet makes me want to hurl shoes at the TV screen; even the sound of her voice crawls up my spine and worms around in the annoyance center of my brain. And I love it so much... I love being able to get into a movie/show so much that I get to sit alone in my room and say things to the screen (and/or the cats, who oftentimes watch with me) like, "OmFg, I hate you, woman," or "GAH. Shut UP already!"  It's great fun. Also, Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy is deliciously delicious in a glowering glowery kind of way. But he's ... I want to roll him in butter and serve him candied on my plate.

( Click for sudden gear shift... )

Been a while since I've posted much more than general quick update-ness, but I think it's time for a life update. First, however, another installment of "WTF has she been doing out there?!"

So Saturday was the Scorpio party, which should have been fun but really it wasn't. This was sad, since I know a few really cool Scorpios (Zoe being the primary one) and the party involved a lot of raw vegan hippie food, drum circles and chanting. Rose and I left about midway into the party to run up to Orchidland and get a big fuckin' double bacon cheeseburger at a drive in. All the food at that party and we just wanted greasy meat. It was awesome. Anyway, got back to the party, Kasi and Mary are there, we chill on the couch a while. Then Zoe's had enough, wants to go back to her place and get others to come with, so I head on out with them. Wind up chilling there, hanging out talking, smoking, watching a documentary on hippies (of all things) and then got dropped off here at home by hacker Andrew. Hacker Andrew is indeed a hacker by trade, but a bona fide physicist by degree. He's about 27 and fuck-all gorgeous with long blonde hair, sharp grey eyes and a great sense of style. Also, he's smart, and that makes me all gooshy inside. He in also in a relationship with two women, both of whom are massively gorgeous, too. Amelia gets me gooshy, regardless of brain or not. :X

Sunday I took for myself. Alex and Rose stayed at the house and I took the car and went to Esctatic Dance, where I danced... ecstatically. Went to the cafe afterward and had a milkshake, then went and chilled out by the ocean a while. Came home, and Alex gathered me up to take me to the lava flow, where I have not yet been. Unfortunately, in order to actually get close to the lava flow, we have to stay in the park until nightfall and then creep across jagged, sharp black lava desert to find it. This can't happen tonight because it's Sunday and the park is actually being guarded and there are fuckloads of tourists around. So we leave and just go for a long drive, talking about stories. Came home and wound up having a long ass discussion before I head to bed.

School wasn't bad today, and I got my bed AND all my bedding today. The bed arrived the exact same day as the bedding material from my familial units. :) Thanks, Mom and Dad. Yah. Alex and I went and got dinner at the drive in, Zoe showed up, and we wound up sitting around talking a bit until we left. Alex and I drove down to the end of Paradise (name of the road, I swear) to a place where we go off-road until we find a lava rock parking spot overlooking the cliffs. The pounding of the sea, the flow of the stars and the silver moonlit scudding of clouds in the sky were amazing. Then we came home.

So, pretty much, life is awesome. I work a 6 hour day, hang out with awesome people, go awesome places and see awesome things. I get a little lonely sometimes because of various reasons, like missing my family and friends, but that, too, is life. Also, our neighbor rocks out loud, as she rescues abandoned dogs, builds houses, and is an exhippie girl from Oahu. White woman, though.

I am gonna go chill. Love you guys!

Have caught some foaming, rabid form of head cold that includes (but is thus far not limited to): sinus leakage, headache due to sinus leakage, nausea due to severe headache due to sinus leakage, and a cough that makes both the headache and the nausea seem like soft, fuzzy kittens rolling in gentle blue yarn in the sunlight.

Feh. Stupid diseases. See, this is precisely why no horror movie to date has ever scared me as much as the book The Hot Zone. It was a book about terrors like Ebola, and it was scarier than Hitler with an Uzi.

I'm gong back to bed.

Long weekend, will make this short. Friday: spent most of the day in Hilo with Rose, shopping for stuff for the new house (which is awesomely gorgeous). Then wound up hanging out with Alex at the house he guards on 3rd shift for a few hours. Finally went to the old house to sleep, all alone, with no one else here. That was cool, 'cause I got to spend some alone time with me, the laptop, and the vast and glorious gems of the internet. :)

Saturday: I got up at six, packed the car up tight, went to get Alex and then drove to the new house. Unpacked, went back, rinse and repeat. All day moving, until around three, when I took a long, long shower and got ready for the party Saturday night. It was the Katz Ass Party, which is a party for only women (and mostly bi or les women). We were performing as Spontaneous Combustion, and I did a poem about the first time I was with a girl. It went really well, and I was all sexy in black. After the performance, we got to party. I danced with this really pretty girl named Ash and got girl kisses! And she took my number. :)  I also gave my number to another woman who was really beautiful and nice; she's a nurse.  Then we crashed around 4 at the dorm at the place (it was a bed and breakfast) after getting really, really baked. :x  Woke up around ten, packed up and went to have breakfast with the performing girls at IHOP. Went back to the new house, where I proceeded to sleep on a blanket on the floor of my room. We're borrowing Zoe's Jeep tomorrow to move the beds.

So Monday is moving and finishing up moving. Tuesday, I'm helping Alex get the old house cleaned up for our landlord. I'ma be scrubbing and cleaning and sweeping all day. Boo. Oh well. At least Tuesday we'll know if we get four years of "Aw Hell Naw" or "Obama_FTW".

Yay Obama! He's gonna Ba-rock my world!