Liek, wh04, m4n.

OMG

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:06:32 GMT

I was totally going to post about moving drama and grad school applications and bills piling up and stress... but then I found cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ and thus my brain was eaten.

I literally had to clamp a hand over my mouth at some of the lady's assessments of the cakes. They are truly wrecks and omg, it's hilarious.

Also, for you certain Twilight fans that I know out there in LJland, she has a special section (called Sunday Sweets, where we get a break from wrecks and see the coolness of cakes) for Twilight, found here.

Enjoy!

Katie: So freaking happy for you in New York, aside from the Queens bus system. Good luck!
Laura: I completely a hundred-thousand percent understand everything you have to say about teaching and the school district. But what you said is true: you are a good (amazing!) teacher, and you have what it takes to stick it out and even make the best of it. Also, I forgot to mention but you have lost weight and I am so, so proud of you. Keep it up! You're doing awesome in all that you are doing and I love you!
Kimmy: HI THERE!
Heather: Email me if you've figured it out yet. But still, hi there!

CLARE

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:31:38 GMT

No, it isn't a new code name. It isn't the name of my new puppy, 'cause I ain't got one. It isn't the name of anything good. CLARE. It should ring as a clarion cry of pain. Check it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contact_lens_acute_red_eye

Yep. Contact Lens Acute Red Eye. Or just simply "ow, ow, ow" for short. I've been having pain with my eye for weeks now and only just yesterday saw a doctor for it. He found out what it was, put pain-killer drops in my eyes, got me anti-keratitis drops, and told me to throw out my contacts. The anti-keratitis drops, by the by, are prescribed in the following course: 1-2 drops every 30 minutes, while awake. omFg. They sting like motherfuckers. At this point, Colin has to put them in for me because I have a hard time holding my eyeball open to purposefully inject pure liquid pain in. Ah well. We will be hoping for the best and such, and getting my eyes put back together.

Also, I almost went to the trouble of taking my LJ icon into Paint and adding huge, angry red welts to the whites.. but it's time for my drops. :(

Plans & Ballet

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:10:03 GMT

Okay people! I am sure all of you know this by now, but I'm going to call it official. By December 21st of this year, I will have moved back to South Carolina. As of today, September 9th, I will be bringing my boyfriend Colin back with me too. I am pleased about all this. I miss my family very much, and want to be around them again.

The tentative plan, however, is to either a) find a good job somewhere nearby or, b) find a no-commitment job somewhere nearby while going back for my Master's. By "somewhere nearby" I mean "somewhere much closer than Hawaii, probably east of the Mississippi, north of Florida and south of Maine." So, here's hoping!

Other news: Colin's parents were kind and generous enough to extend an invite for me to join their family in a night of Thai food and Mikhail Baryshnikov. I was happy to accept. That's right, I got to see Baryshnikov himself, live, doing "Three Solos and a Duet" with Ana Laguna. Omg. It was enough to make me literally cry a bit. The performances were so very, very powerful.

So, yah. There it stands, here I am. Love to you all!

...Long time, no see.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:02:40 GMT

I realized that I hadn't posted in about.. 2 months, so perhaps it is time? Laura came to visit and it was very awesome. No offense meant here, but it was really comforting and deeply relieving to have her here and let her see how I lived and have her accept me still. For some reason, I was fearful of her non-approval...of all people, she's the most I fear from. It's my love for her, and my respect of her opinion, I suppose. But I love you, Joe, so very sincerely.

I have found a new friend, named Colin.... I like him a lot. ... Weird. I was just typing this and he called me to ask if he could come over. Cool.

I have been good, as I mostly am. Things have happened that are monumental, but I am still alive, I am still well, and I am still (mostly) sane. : ) I think that in the last month I have undergone more changes than I have previously wanted to admit, but I think it has to do with the death of an old era (unfortunately I will have to name it Alex, although I by no means love him less) and the birth of a new, this one named after myself. I also think that this new era of my life is important and crucial, and I intend to seize it fully and live my life from here forward.

I do miss the East Coast and although I have been noncommunicative and distant, I feel in many ways that my home there is still a home for me. I still can't call it "Mom's house" or "my parents' house"....it's just... "home." I like it that way.

Love for you all, even if I don't talk with you anymore. I never lost love for you, nor opinion of you, just simply lost touch... and that's my fault and burden to hold. Still... I hope everyone is doing well, and know that I support you still, in my own way.

Wtf.

Sat, 23 May 2009 00:54:19 GMT

So, among lots and lots of other things, including the car breaking down on the highway in the rain and me just having a lot of fun chilling, I have been just fine. :)

But... someone told me earlier this week that I needed to sign up for Twitter. Now, this person is attached to their phone and texts all the damn time. So much so, actually, that it's annoying and I never really get face time with them. I get time with them and their phone, y'know? But, I went and looked up Twitter online. I read the What, the Why and the How, and I watched the video. 140 characters per post, keeping up with all the "little things in between blog posts." This is supposed to help me "stay better connected" and "know my friends and family better."

.... fuck. that. No, I don't care if Mom's eating soup or Wayne's taking a nap or Joe, if you had a sandwich or salad for dinner. I don't care, really I don't. I don't care if Mom's at exercise at a particular time, or if Amie is watching South Park. Why should I care? I do care that Mom and Joe are getting good, healthy foods, that Mom is losing weight for her own health and happiness, that Wayne's getting enough sleep and Amie's happy. I can get these things from phone conversations, or, even better, from actually visiting them whenever I can and getting a personal look at how they feel overall, as people. When I die, I don't ever want there to be a record of what I had for dinner that night or what I wore to work on that day. I want... life to happen. I don't life to get documented and run through script and spat out, bland and black on white and 140 fucking characters on the next side.

Ever.

Sun, 03 May 2009 19:58:52 GMT

It's been interesting lately. As in interesting, I mean... emotionally draining. Some days are better than others but still having to watch Alex and Rose be a couple while I'm a third wheel is... trying. And sometimes it isn't bad at all, 'cause we can do things as a family unit and it's fine. Dunno. Recovering, if that's possible. It is, but the healing process is slowed tenfold by staying here. Alex is still my best friend, y'know? It's weird, 'cause sometimes I find myself wanting only his company 'cause he's my friend and he helps... but then I realize that it's him that's causing me to need a friend's company in the first place and I wind up kinda wonky. And then sometimes I can forget about it. And sometimes I can't. It's ... gonna be okay. Eventually.

Otherwise, I'm sick now, low-grade fever, cough, congestion. Yay Spring! On the up side, I am almost finished working on inputting the edits from Book Four and will get Book Five to read soon, which excites me.

Things of interest that I have found:
Gunnerkrigg Court. I started reading this yesterday and have had my brain eaten until I got to the end today. It's actually quite good, and the art, while fairly typical, is well represented by the author's well-done imagination. The representation of Coyote is cool.
Have been redoing my iPood (heh) lately and have found that yes, indeed, Ween's Bananas and Blow makes me happy for some insane reason. Also, for those of you who have not seen this episode of South Park, it makes me so so so happy as a teacher. The Dog Wheesperer! Love.

Other than that, ladies and gents, things are going well. I'm looking forward to you coming out here, Joe. Summer's here in about a month, and in a few weeks I'm having a New Orleans dinner party. Gonna make shrimp etoufee and rum-soaked bread pudding. Ah, and randomly, I found a real fudge shop here on the island. Like... holy crap good fudge... the pumpkin pie made me wanna roll over in a sugar coma last night, and the lilikoi (passion fruit) fudge is superhotfreaking delicious.

Love!

So the fridge went out...

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:35:34 GMT

...so we wound up cooking most of everything we had for breakfast. We invited a few friends over and made about 19 eggs (with salsa and cheese), a whole pack of bacon, a package of huge, delicious sausages, yogurt with granola, milk (in the tea and eggs) and had a lot of fruit cut up, too. Omg.

When life gives you lemons, we apparently are going to make lemonade and invite people over for it.

So what's up...

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:58:29 GMT

It's been forevah! So, really really quick catch-up:
-- Alex's cousin Victoria was here for two weeks and she rocks out loud. I like her bunches, and we had loads of adventures.
-- Alex's birthday was yesterday, and he and I celebrated first off by getting up at 4 am and driving to Kona to sit in traffic court from 7:45-12:00. Then we went and had lunch at the southernmost bar in the United States, which was cool. Then we drove home, where Rose had set up a birthday party for Alex that included this amazing 9-step scavenger hunt (in the theme of Alice in Wonderland) for his present, which turned out to be a stuffed monster she had sewn herself. In all honesty, I was a twinge jealous of how thoughtful and personalized her gift was, 'cause in all honesty the only thing I could think of to get him was to buy him a staff he's been wanting and he was there with me when I picked it up. And then I felt guilty for feeling jealous. Her gift made him cry, and I dunno. I have been feeling pretty worthless in his life lately, and he refuses to tell me how I help him 'cause he wants me figure it out on my own 'cause it'll help me get better as a person. Aww, boo. Still, I'm glad he had a really good birthday (even though I fucked up and pissed him off in the grocery store parking lot 'cause I'm messed up in the head sometimes with my temper).
-- Speaking of birthday, I made Mom's Death by Chocolate cake and it put everyone in a sugar coma. Then we got up this morning and had bacon and chocolate cake for breakfast. I'm considering napping again, though I've only been awake about... 2 hours now. Grah.

Overall, things are fine. I went through some pretty harsh shit for a few weeks, but I'm healthy now and working on making sure my mental stability is present. I'll tell you guys all about it later, in person, 'cause I don't wanna talk about it in LJ. Y'know how that is.

But I'm good! And I love you all! And I won't give it all away, but there's a possibility (depending on job stuff, etc.) that I may make it to the East Coast again before the year is out. We'll see. :)

The Watchmen

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:51:41 GMT

So, we went and watched the Watchmen Friday night. There was a group of 12, and 3 of us had our Nintendo DSes along for the ride. This, as it turns out, is a bad idea with three adults in a theatre with 20 minutes to spare. We got in Pictochat and the poor Nintendos became conduits for stick-figure drawings with humongously deformed sex organs and compromising positions. It wasn't until we got to the opening credits and put the Nintendos away that my friend Kasi leaned over and whispered, "Who was that fourth person in the Pictochat with us?" We had a freak out. It was hilarious and we were nearly rolling in the aisles.

Then, we watched the Watchmen, which... kinda sucked. I liked Rorschach's bit, 'cause he kicked ass for real, but for the most part I spent the rest of the film going, "Omg blue penis!" Also, the only gay people in the film were either a) murdered for being gay or b) the freakin' villain who kills millions. This did not sit well with me. But... I did like Dr. Manhattan... and his penis.

Penis.

Ahaha.

Thus it goes.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 05:38:21 GMT

I've decided it's time for a bit of a picture post, people. I know, I know... don't get yer panties in a knot. I am alive and doing very well. I have recently undergone some very needed and voluntary changes, the process of which I won't bore you with but the result of which is this: I am beautiful, I am sexy, and I am just damn worth it. And all of that without false, overblown arrogance to crutch up a rickety structure. I mean it, sincerely and with full humility. I'm pleased with myself for the first time in years, and I like it that way.

And now, without further ado, At 4:30 in the morning on Sunday, we got up and hiked out about a mile and a half across jagged, crumbling, dangerous lava to reach the point where the lava is actively flowing into the ocean. The earth's hot blood, flowing free and powerful into the salt of the sea... I cried, unabashedly.

First of many pics:

Yah, that's me. The huge cloud-like stuff is steam from the lava hitting the ocean.

On the way back, when the sun was up, I was walking and happened to look down... and there was a perfect, perfect heart in the lava. It made me cry again, and feel a deep love connection with this amazing life-island. It's.. a charmed life I live, and I am ever grateful.

So I had a mental breakdown...

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 06:10:04 GMT

.... I had to go to the hospital and get IVs and everything. I was out of school for a week and a half and have only just now begun to recover enough to explain everything to you guys.

Just kidding, but at least that would have been a good excuse. In reality, it's only been that our new roomate Tim got here and we've been taking him all over the island every weekend. Also, since the XBox is here, I reallyhave small amounts of time for the computer. By the by, when I say XBox, please don't interpret that as my always being able to play. In truth, I spend lots of time editing Alex's books (I'm almost finished with the 2nd go-round on the 4th book), and in between those times, playing door person at a rave, watching copious amounts of Avatar with Rose, going to ecstatic dance and, (like today) hanging out gettin' high on a nude beach... you can see my dilemma. I just have no time anymore.

Yes, I did call Wayne on his birthday. Yes, I have been calling Joe to keep up with her, and I'm glad you're doing a little better, my love. Haven't called anyone else in a long time, though, so I will try and fix that soon.

Love you guys!

There and Back Again

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:32:39 GMT

It has been an interesting few days, let me tell you. I have been on a plane for a very long time, and back in Hawai'i for what feels a short time and I am already just freakin' happy to be home. I loved, loved, loved going back to see my family and friends, and I had some great adventures, but there's something comforting about coming home and seeing my family here. Alex picked me up at the airport all beautiful in fishnets and despite my jetlag, the night was a welcome homecoming. Yesterday I dozed a lot and wound up going to Hilo with Rose and Rod to get a new cable for my projector ( which is great, Dad, and I love the picture). Today, I plan to finish unpacking and go to Hilo again to get another adapter cable I apparently need for my external harddrive. C'est la vie.

I love you guys and hope you are all well.

Glee Post is Gleeful!

Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:39:21 GMT

I know that I'm sad to be leaving. I will miss everyone very, very much.

But on a happy note... Dad has admitted that if they're going to keep Mab, it's "just as easy to keep two cats as one" so my parents will be giving both Tucker and Mab a permanent home. OMFG I am so thrilled with this.

Hooray life for solving things. And Dad. Lots of hooray for Dad.

Late Journal Post is Late

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:41:39 GMT

So. Much. to. Update.

I has not the room nor, I fear, the finger strength to type it all out. I shall sum it up thusly: plane trip = boring, seeing family = awesome, driving to CT = awesome w/ Joe, suck for my hips, knees and ass, seeing family and SNOW = win!, hanging at the house and playing xbox = awesome, Team Awesome (expensive) dinner = cool and awesome.

So, I have been rolling around in my DVD collection since I've been back, and have been quitting off playing games (!!! I know, I know) early to watch movies that I have missed for 6 months or longer. I have since picked up A&E's presentation of Pride and Prejudice and holy hell... it is truly the mark of an excellent program/actress that I cringe at the very sight/sound of a character. Mrs. Bennet makes me want to hurl shoes at the TV screen; even the sound of her voice crawls up my spine and worms around in the annoyance center of my brain. And I love it so much... I love being able to get into a movie/show so much that I get to sit alone in my room and say things to the screen (and/or the cats, who oftentimes watch with me) like, "OmFg, I hate you, woman," or "GAH. Shut UP already!" It's great fun. Also, Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy is deliciously delicious in a glowering glowery kind of way. But he's ... I want to roll him in butter and serve him candied on my plate.

On a much, much sadder note, I have reached the sad, sad decision that I am going to have to give Tucker up. I simply cannot afford to take him with me to Hawai'i, my father doesn't want to keep up with him any longer, and I can't impose upon my parents' vast kindness any further to implore my dad to keep an animal he doesn't want to keep for a lifetime. It's very upsetting for me, believe me. I'm sure you guys understand; you've seen my attachment to my cats.

I will be keeping Sebastian and bringing him to me in February. In happier news, Mom has somehow fallen in love with Mab, of all of them, and has used her feminine charms (and 28 married years of persuasive power) to convince Dad to let her keep Mab. I'm happy with this, since I know Mab would probably be the worst of all of them if I had had to move her out of her nest. She would have been small, angry and disgruntled in Hawai'i, probably more so than she tends to be in SC, which is saying a lot. Still, it pains me to give Tucker up, since I made a life choice and it wound up disrupting his. Alex has helped keep me calm about the decision, however, by pointing out that Tucker is still young enough to readjust and be perfectly fine in another good home, and he's right; Tucker is only 2 1/2, so he has lots of love (and whining) to give someone. Bleargh on that, still. I just feel mostly like a failure, like I made a commitment I couldn't keep, and that makes me feel like a big asshole. I guess that's just kicking me in the pants as much as my heart is wringing itself over the decision to give him up.

Boo.

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:51:53 GMT

First off, Thanksgiving went well. I was a little mopey that morning, missing my family and all, but managed to recover as I went to two different Thanksgiving parties. The first was a local Hawaiian woman and her humongously extended family; she's a teacher at my school and invited me to come along. Dad, sorry, but the woman's pineapple-brown sugar ham glaze was the best I've ever had. Then we went to Cat and Robert's down in Kapoho Kai and hung out with our family there. Zoe was there, and Gabriel and Eric and Natalia and Tangelina, and lotsa people. It was fun. We got home around 10:30 and totally crashed out. Rose and I get up at seven to go exercise, and then chill out the rest of the day.

So, I have found that Alex and I are fully capable of holding long, intense theoretical discussions about many things, be they the duality of spirit vs. physicality or, in this particular case, the antithesis of cake. We often do this to one another. That is, pull out our mental fencing foils and have at each other. It's terribly fun. Back to cake. So, Alex is stoned and I (for once) have had nothing, and he starts this discussion with the question of "What is the antithesis of cake?" And I supply the first, obvious answer: "Arsenic." From there, we must discuss the oppositional properties of arsenic v. cake, and then from there we must discuss the fundamental idea of balancing out the amount of arsenic in the universe vs. the potentiality of, on a purely molecular level, a gigantic space cloud of the precise molecular makeups for cake. I mean, given that space is infinite, then all things could exist in infinity, then perhaps a space cloud of molecular cake does exist. If given that, and weighing it against the known amount of arsenic found naturally, we hypothesize that yes, indeed, on an edibility and a cosmically probable scale, the antithesis of cake is arsenic. o_O

You see now why Rose walked in during the middle of this conversation, stayed two seconds, and retreated. It's not that we're crazy, it's just that we're crazy.

On other notes, I had a great time with a friend of mine Kasi last night. We went and got dinner and then went to just chill on the cliffsides and watch the stars and talk for, like, 2 hours. Very nice.

Anyway, must run. I love you guys much. :)

The Catch-Up Game

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 07:45:56 GMT

Been a while since I've posted much more than general quick update-ness, but I think it's time for a life update. First, however, another installment of "WTF has she been doing out there?!"

So Saturday was the Scorpio party, which should have been fun but really it wasn't. This was sad, since I know a few really cool Scorpios (Zoe being the primary one) and the party involved a lot of raw vegan hippie food, drum circles and chanting. Rose and I left about midway into the party to run up to Orchidland and get a big fuckin' double bacon cheeseburger at a drive in. All the food at that party and we just wanted greasy meat. It was awesome. Anyway, got back to the party, Kasi and Mary are there, we chill on the couch a while. Then Zoe's had enough, wants to go back to her place and get others to come with, so I head on out with them. Wind up chilling there, hanging out talking, smoking, watching a documentary on hippies (of all things) and then got dropped off here at home by hacker Andrew. Hacker Andrew is indeed a hacker by trade, but a bona fide physicist by degree. He's about 27 and fuck-all gorgeous with long blonde hair, sharp grey eyes and a great sense of style. Also, he's smart, and that makes me all gooshy inside. He in also in a relationship with two women, both of whom are massively gorgeous, too. Amelia gets me gooshy, regardless of brain or not. :X

Sunday I took for myself. Alex and Rose stayed at the house and I took the car and went to Esctatic Dance, where I danced... ecstatically. Went to the cafe afterward and had a milkshake, then went and chilled out by the ocean a while. Came home, and Alex gathered me up to take me to the lava flow, where I have not yet been. Unfortunately, in order to actually get close to the lava flow, we have to stay in the park until nightfall and then creep across jagged, sharp black lava desert to find it. This can't happen tonight because it's Sunday and the park is actually being guarded and there are fuckloads of tourists around. So we leave and just go for a long drive, talking about stories. Came home and wound up having a long ass discussion before I head to bed.

School wasn't bad today, and I got my bed AND all my bedding today. The bed arrived the exact same day as the bedding material from my familial units. :) Thanks, Mom and Dad. Yah. Alex and I went and got dinner at the drive in, Zoe showed up, and we wound up sitting around talking a bit until we left. Alex and I drove down to the end of Paradise (name of the road, I swear) to a place where we go off-road until we find a lava rock parking spot overlooking the cliffs. The pounding of the sea, the flow of the stars and the silver moonlit scudding of clouds in the sky were amazing. Then we came home.

So, pretty much, life is awesome. I work a 6 hour day, hang out with awesome people, go awesome places and see awesome things. I get a little lonely sometimes because of various reasons, like missing my family and friends, but that, too, is life. Also, our neighbor rocks out loud, as she rescues abandoned dogs, builds houses, and is an exhippie girl from Oahu. White woman, though.

I am gonna go chill. Love you guys!

Ugh.

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:34:08 GMT

Have caught some foaming, rabid form of head cold that includes (but is thus far not limited to): sinus leakage, headache due to sinus leakage, nausea due to severe headache due to sinus leakage, and a cough that makes both the headache and the nausea seem like soft, fuzzy kittens rolling in gentle blue yarn in the sunlight.

Feh. Stupid diseases. See, this is precisely why no horror movie to date has ever scared me as much as the book The Hot Zone. It was a book about terrors like Ebola, and it was scarier than Hitler with an Uzi.

I'm gong back to bed.

So busy busy!

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 06:07:43 GMT

Long weekend, will make this short. Friday: spent most of the day in Hilo with Rose, shopping for stuff for the new house (which is awesomely gorgeous). Then wound up hanging out with Alex at the house he guards on 3rd shift for a few hours. Finally went to the old house to sleep, all alone, with no one else here. That was cool, 'cause I got to spend some alone time with me, the laptop, and the vast and glorious gems of the internet. :)

Saturday: I got up at six, packed the car up tight, went to get Alex and then drove to the new house. Unpacked, went back, rinse and repeat. All day moving, until around three, when I took a long, long shower and got ready for the party Saturday night. It was the Katz Ass Party, which is a party for only women (and mostly bi or les women). We were performing as Spontaneous Combustion, and I did a poem about the first time I was with a girl. It went really well, and I was all sexy in black. After the performance, we got to party. I danced with this really pretty girl named Ash and got girl kisses! And she took my number. :) I also gave my number to another woman who was really beautiful and nice; she's a nurse. Then we crashed around 4 at the dorm at the place (it was a bed and breakfast) after getting really, really baked. :x Woke up around ten, packed up and went to have breakfast with the performing girls at IHOP. Went back to the new house, where I proceeded to sleep on a blanket on the floor of my room. We're borrowing Zoe's Jeep tomorrow to move the beds.

So Monday is moving and finishing up moving. Tuesday, I'm helping Alex get the old house cleaned up for our landlord. I'ma be scrubbing and cleaning and sweeping all day. Boo. Oh well. At least Tuesday we'll know if we get four years of "Aw Hell Naw" or "Obama_FTW".

Yay Obama! He's gonna Ba-rock my world!

I am at last complete.

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:55:41 GMT

I broke down and bought the season 3 of Avatar: The Last Airbender on DVD at Wal-Mart.

Heather, I bequeath unto thee the first three original discs of Season 3. They are yours to have and to hold so long as you both shall function.

I reiterate: I. am. at. last. so. very. very. complete.

AVATAR AANG. I ... OMG. OMG.

And, by the by... OMG.

Success!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:52:09 GMT

We found a new home! It's amazing. Gods bless the housing slump right now, 'cause houses out here are going like hot cakes, and hot damn, but we found a good one. So, it's 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, got a big granite-countertopped kitchen with a dishwasher. I almost had a faintin' spell right there when the guy showed us that. It also comes with a washer/dryer, real wood flooring throughout, and bay windows in two of the bedrooms. Whoosh! It also comes with a separate 2-car garage with screened windows and a ceiling fan for Rose's art studio! And that's not all... it's brand spankin' new. It was built and has been sitting on the sale market for a year, but no one's buying so they put it up for rent! All this for $1050. Rose gets a thousand a month, I get two, so between us, we've got a great place in a great location for a great price and we are really, really happy.

The house even feels like a home, like it's comfortable and expectant. I am just thrilled to bits. Here's where it is: http://maps.google.com/?q=loc%3A+10th+ave+at+Makuu+Keaau+HI+US

When you get to that map, here's the close-up of where the house actually is:

Also, there are some pictures of the naked interior here: http://honolulu.craigslist.org/big/apa/888266327.html

So, I'm happy.

Also, on a side note but also happy note... Alex has these humongous boots with a 3 inch lift on them and... and... those are so amazing in adding to his height. I am sore inside and out and just so freakin' happy about it. :) :)

What do I post? What do I post?

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 06:32:25 GMT

I feel like I should be scrambling around for something to post, but in actuality, I have lots to say. This was the first week back we had since being off all last week, and omg, I am dizzy with all the stuff thrown at me. I have two new kids, but one of them is ADHD, loud, obnoxious, and really, really sad. He's a chubby white kid with red hair from Texas. He moved here and omfg, that is like moving a three-legged blind lame mouse into a room full of cats. The locals here have literally beat the poor kid to shreds, emotionally and physically, over the last ten months. The only thing that he has been able to do in sheer defense is start talking, walking and acting like a local to fit in as well as he can. He dyed his hair brown. He got a tan. He's still pale compared to them, but he started speaking pigdin and being loud just to fend them off. Amazingly, he is so good at it that they have come to regard him as a sort of Frankenstein experiment and, though they still continue to abuse him, they do it now in laughter and will actually stick up for him from time to time.

The pigdin here, by the by, is really bizarre. Locals will hold a conversation that looks something like this:
" 'ey, what you do? eh? You like scrap, boy?"
"Fuck no, I no like scrap. I go store. You want go?"
"Yah, we go store. C'mon, you fuckah, go store."

And I'm not being facetious or a bastard.. it's like that. And this pudgy hyper Texan talks like that now. )_)

Anyway, Wednesday was a fuck-awful day, literally one of the worst in my teaching career but it's over now and resolved. I started my period, so I have been really emotional. My dreams have become steadily stronger and stronger out here, and in many cases, that's not good. I have dreamt of zombies in some form for the past three nights in a row, and before that I spent the entire night in a suspended, high panic because of a dream where my amulet shattered and I had to swim to find it. The rats in this house have gotten worse. We bought a trap and have gotten rid of three of them, but at 5:30 this morning, one runs across my fucking pillow, across my fucking face, and jumps to the floor. I was entirely like... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? Omg. This was also after have woken up at 4:00 in the morning to go huddle in the bathroom light because of the zombie dream that had woken me up in a cold sweat.

So, basically, we're finding somewhere else to live. We think we've found a place that we like well enough and suits our needs. It used to be a small Waldorf school, but has been converted into a home. It's got good points and bad, like all places, but the really good point is that it's cheap and big for the rent. So, yeah.

Also, I bought new contact lens solution out here and I swear I'm allergic to it somehow. After a day of wearing my contacts, my eyes become just bloodshot, pink-eye red, they itch and burn, and I have to take my contacts out. Even when my contacts are out, my eyes burn like a motherfucker for an hour afterward. I have been wearing my glasses, but something has happened to the scratch resistant coating on them out here in the humidity and it has begun to peel off in many place, so thickly that I can barely see out of my glasses anymore. I wound up digging out my old pair of glasses from like three years ago (thank fuck for my foresight in packing those). I am going to Wal-Mart tomorrow to get my newer pair of glasses looked at and see if there's any saving them. ::sigh::

Good news, though. I joined Curves, for those who didn't know, and as of my last weight check, since July 21 (when I joined), I have lost 31 lbs. I feel healthier, I feel better about myself, and I am beginning to actually feel sexy from time to time. It's an amazing journey of acceptance that I take with gratitude from the island. Also, I take it from Alex. He can be a real pill sometimes, but otherwise, he is gentle, patient and sweet. Example: tonight, after my eyes were hurting a lot, he went and dug and dug for like 10 minutes through the medicine shelves and drawers until he found the eyewash cup and put a soothing herbal eyewash in it for me, and brought it to me. It helped a lot and made my eyes less hurty. I suppose I must say... I am in love with the boy. :)

Lesbians, Fire and Mushroom Sandwiches

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 21:31:58 GMT

....it should be a band name, totally. I have been off all week and seriously have done not too much except for Thursday and Friday. For those of you not in the loop, I am in another burlesque show in November. This one, however, is for an all-women party called the Katz Ass, and it's an all-black-clothing Halloween-ish party. So I am reading a poem, since I do not feel comfortable shakin' my shit on stage. Hah. :)

So Thursday night was a rehearsal and we were at the place, and all these bi- and lesbian women who are in the show decide that we need to all get dinner afterward. So we do, about half of us, which is 7, and Thursday night was awesome. 7 lesbians or bis all sitting in a restaurant until it closes, laughing and being crude and playful and hilarious and just having a lot of fun. It was a comfortable atmosphere full of people who share similar interests/energies as myself and just having fun. It felt really good to be part of a crowd of people again instead of just my small familiar unit here. Not to knock them; I love them, but it's nice to join up with others, too. Rose was there, by the by, as she is organizing and running the show.

Friday during the day, Kasi (really cool butch chick) comes and picks me up and we head to Hilo for lunch at the Planet Cafe, which serves the best portabello mushroom sandwich that I have ever had in my life. Ever. Then we tool around a bit, talking, and slide through Wal-Mart for a few things before heading back to Pahoa 'cause I have to catch a ride with Alex and Rose to a party.

And so, Friday night was the party at Coco's (a hippie community ... thing, I dunno. Lots of land, though) where Alex and Rose were on as fire dancers to some tribal drummers. It was an emotional night since Alex tends to get a bit wiggy over performing, but he did it and it was really, really good. You can't convince him of that, though, but still. I was impressed. He used the 9 foot fire staff for the first time, and it's cool. Rose also did fire fans and did some fire eating later, which was beautiful. After the performance, I went and hung out with this beautiful woman named Natalia for a while and then spent some time throwing Alex around.. rather literally. I can scoop the boy up in my arms and just hold him, so we wrestled around on the grass a bit and I loved it.

As we were heading back out to the car (parked on the side of a long, dark dirt road), we heard this high-pitched and muffled panicked screaming and pouding. Rose and I look at each other like, "wtf?" and proceed to stalk down the road in search of this terror. We found it in a black SUV not too far from where we had parked... there was a small child inside, the doors were all locked, the windows were all rolled up tight, and the child was screaming his head off and pounding on the windows in a panic. We tried to talk to him a bit, but the windows were those really really dark-tinted ones and it was dark (there are no streetlights, only moonlight). So Rose and I head back to the party, find the director, and Rose jumps on stage to make an announcement that someone needs to take care of their child. These two men bolt off into the dark, and by the time Rose and I get back to the car, one of them is hanging near the car and the other has taken the kid for a walk to settle the child down. Apparently, the kid fell asleep at the party and they put him in the car to let him sleep, but he woke up and had a panic-fit over being in an unfamiliar place. This is an understandable situtation, but still... my ire and Rose's were up over it.

Afterward, we came home, I showered (long, hot steamy nights = I need bathing before I crawl into bed) and went to bed. Got up this morning, made eggs, hung out a bit, and we're going snorkeling later. Whee, snorkeling! I get to see feeshes! FEESH!

Love you guys, and am made envious of your foodenings.

Also, I know you're gonna read this, Mom. You'd better post something to your journal. We made it for that purpose. And it's the weekend. You have zero excuse. :) LOVE YOU.

Politics as usual...

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:31:51 GMT

... or perhaps not. Politics in my home have been as follows: We watch the debates together on the internet (so they aren't live) and pause intermittently to have a complete bitchfest at the McCain/Palin campaign. Alex brings up their bullshit because he follows things really closely and knows all the background. Rose and I contribute with angry fist shakes and soft growls of rage at Palin and her complete and utter idiocy. It's like the woman is out on purpose to put women back about fifty years. The bitchwhore. Grah.

Oftentimes, this debate watching will turn into a long-winded conversation on the state of the world in general, or about history and such, and that's cool. Today, Alex and I went to Lava Tree State Park, which is small but cool. A couple hundred years ago, lava poured over the area so hot and fast it petrified/solidified many trees, and all that is left now are hollow tubes of lava cones where the trees disintegrated on impact. It's really neat. Then we got home, Alex made soup for dinner (pineapple/green papaya/white ginger/chicken) that was freakin' awesome. Right now, he and Rose have gone to the bar to get a few drinks and just spend some time together. Rose didn't get into a really important contest and is very bummed today, which is sad. Her painting is incredible, but the judges are just odd, I think. Anyway. later tonight, the agenda is to break open the pipe and a bad zombie movie and just chill it out.

I'm off school for holiday all this coming week, which is so cool. I rub it in for you all! Also, I hope you guys have fun at the Pumpkin Fest/Fall for G'ville. I command you to get deep-fried Oreos and/or cheesecake just for my memory! Take pictures of the foodening! I wanna live vicariously through you guys' tastebuds. :)

Love!

Woo-hah. The end of birthday weekend.

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:09:04 GMT

Omfg. It was a great weekend. I got my package on Friday and wore my earrings from Laura today (Heather, yours are tomorrow :) ) and put out my Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure...! It deserves all caps, Katie, seriously. And the earrings/bracelet are amazing, you guys. Thank you so much.

Sunday, we went to the lava for a bit in the morning because the plume was so huge and amazing; I sent pics/video of it to Mom and Laura, if you guys want to see it. Also, there's a snippet of Alex all smexy in a top hat that I really like. Hmm. What else? Sunday night I was really removed from myself. It was almost weird. So, take a moment and stop and think about where you exist in your body. Where is your center? Not just the head space behind your eyes, but when you acknowledge yourself as a spiritual being in a human body, where does this being reside? Mine is in the dead center of my chest, right behind my breastbone. Rose told me that hers lives in the base of her spine. Anyway, I was disconnected from that center on Sunday.

It was a creepy feeling; it was like I was existing about two feet above my head. I was here, in my head, seeing and talking and interacting, but I was outside of myself as well, taking everything in a very detached, smooth manner. It was like everything mattered and yet had no significance. It was a very open and naked feeling, and I didn't like it. I talked with Alex about it and he understood completely; he could even describe it back to me how he had felt it in the past. He made a few suggestions as to how I could pull back into myself and I took one and went for a drive. I left around 8:30 and was gone for two hours. I just cruised the coastline in the dark, window down, ocean purring to my left and the stars up above. There was a surreal thing last night.. a cruise ship, all lit up like a mansion drifting on the horizon. I pulled the car over and sat on a stone in the utter dark, watching this ship slide by in the dark. The reflection it cast on the water was amazing, all gold light and shadows.

I eventually wound up on SeaView Lawn, which is a huge expanse of coconut trees and grass right across the street from the ocean, and I found a place open to the stars. I laid in the grass and watched the stars for an hour; I saw three shooting stars. It really helped me ground myself, and by the time I got back in the car and headed home, I was feeling fine and even happy.

So that was an experience. School today went well; I have school Tuesday - Thursday, no students Friday, and a week off next week. I'm looking forward to that.

Ta-Da!

Mauna Kea from the base, looking up the road.

Climging above the cloud cover. This is approximately 10,000 feet.

Sorry it's sideways, but that is the path leading up to the actual summit, where the altar is. You can juuuuust barely see the altar; that's how far away it is.

Looking from the summit to the sunset and the telescopes situated above the clouds.

Just after sunset; the clouds look like snow.

Michelangelo and Oven Mitts

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 09:19:12 GMT

These are a few of the things on my desk. Alex's big-ass book on the artist Michelangelo and an oven mitt I had to use when my curry-bowl was too hot for contact. So today was a good day, a little rushed at work, but good otherwise. I had to get plans ready for being out for two days; tomorrow is a day-long mentor/mentee meeting in Hilo. Whoopee, a belittling boring conference on my birthday. Yay me.

Anyway, tonight we went to a nighttime ecstatic dance, which is awesome cause there are no kids allowed and nudity abounds. Yum. So I was gettin' my dance on near the end of the night, and this Hawaiian guy hoots at me. Again. Huhn. So afterward we go outside and I tell him that I like the way he dances (he is pretty good), and he goes, "You got some good moves, for a girl your size." And I'm like... "O_O"

W.T.F. I mean, thanks? But seriously. Just shoulda kept your damned mouth shut. ARGH. Not like I'm pissed, but it was upsetting to be so tossed back into my reality after having really had a very good dance. Bah.

Anyway. After the conference, I took Friday off and am going clothes shopping with Rose 'cause I only gots like.. 2 skirts and a pair of khakis that still fit me. Saturday, we're going early to the Volcano State Park up the mountain, and we're takin' a picnic, and we're gonna have fuuun on mah birfday. Also, there is a Libra party that night, thrown in honor of all Libras. Ahaha. I has a party!

Yeah so. Good days and fun days and interesting days. Love for you all.